Monday, February 9, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Driving Haikus
Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink Blink.
Someday you'll turn left.
Lumbering monster.
Imports scatter before me.
Fear my Escalade!
I'm in a hurry.
You are driving too slowly.
I must gesture now.
It's always the same:
"Next exit 84 miles"
When I have to pee.
Emits pollution
And spews poison gases. Car?
No, it's John Rocker.
Ooooh, there's a Starbucks!
Let's pull over and buy some
Four dollar coffee.
H2 SUV
Traffic jam, gas tank on E.
U R SOL.
Run, pedestrian!
I can't stop! Jump that curb! ... Damn.
Bumpers are NOT cheap.
An exact-change lane,
And you've only brought Visa?
Please, never leave home.
Wheels are like mountains
In your giant monster truck.
Your schlong? Still compact.
Ponytailed boomer
Doing thirty while singing
"Life in the Fast Lane."
Self-important prick!
Signal turns, or you may find
Baby on DASH board.
Cut ME off, you scum?
Pass you on the right! I win!
Morning, officer.
Something just happened
between me and the leather.
Please crack a window.
My toll-booth hottie
Can't hear my smooth pickup lines
Over the car horns.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Monday, December 22, 2008
Some Antics with Semantics
If you imagine listening to this conversation, but even more esoteric, then you will have some idea about what it's like to sit in the Georgetown Law Journal office.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
More about neighborhoods (and theology?)
I took a Religious Studies course my senior year in college; it was called The Problem of God. The course studied four theologians' attempts to define God and, indirectly, religion itself. The final, most recent theologian we read was Kaufman (a former professor at Harvard Divinity School who is still alive, I believe). He argued that religion is merely a socio-psychological construction of human societies, but that religion was nonetheless important because having an overarching theory of what draws the universe together leads to socially desired behavior.
In essence, he argued that as individuals we should recognize that relgion is not literally "true" but merely a construction, but at the same time we should continue to adhere to those beliefs because they will continue to orient our lives toward the good.
I followed the first part of Kaufman's idea, but I found the second hard to swallow. It was as if he was asking us to turn a blind eye toward the truth - that religion is just made up - because concentrating on the fact that it's made up will lead to socially bad behavior.
But now, like in so many situations, an analogy helps me understand what he's talking about.
I don't like my neighborhood. It's not a "rough" neighborhood, but it's not great, either. My house is across the street from a charter school where plenty of non-student hooligans hang out and cause trouble. This evening, a guy on the street tried to con me. Later, a girl might have gotten raped by her "persistent" guy friend not 50 feet from my front door if my neighbor hadn't scared the guy away. It's worse a few blocks away; my own friends have been mugged and beaten for sport on the other side of 7th St. in Shaw. Some people really are just low-lifes, and I feel like I'm faced with them all the time here. To make a slight overstatement, living in this neighborhood makes me pessimistic about human nature. Being surrounded by people who are violent, rude, selfish, and/or angry makes me a bitter person, and that totally sucks.
So yeah, I want to live someplace better. I want to live someplace where I'm more often faced with good-natured people who help restore my faith in human nature. I want to live someplace where I'm reminded of how often people treat each other right just for the sake of treating each other right. Being around those people will have the opposite effect that living where I do now has on me: I'll be happier, and more optimistic about the kindness that the average person I encounter is capable of. But NOT everyone is like that, as I've already experienced. Thinking this way would mean having to forget what it's like to live here. It would mean fooling myself into thinking, on some level, that all people are like the people who live around me.
But wait a second... On some level, I'll ALWAYS know that shitty people who only care about themselves are exploiting others. By living someplace else, am I not turning a blind eye to this "truth"? Aren't I just sweeping some of my life's negative experiences under the rug so I can fool myself into thinking humanity consists of a cloistered haven of disproportionately happy and kind people?
Yes. And?
If that's what it takes for me to be a better person, so be it. I wouldn't be doing anyone any good by immersing myself in the "truth" if it just made me a cold-hearted bastard to be around. I'm sure plenty of people here can come to terms with the bad people they encounter daily and maintain a resiliently positive attitude. But it's not me.
So maybe this is what Kaufman was about. It's kind of a slap in the face to Thomas Jefferson's "You must not be afraid to follow the truth, wherever it may lead." Kaufman says that if concentrating on the truth (i.e. that the worldview you've been using to orient your life toward good living is not reality) leaves you without the moral compass that makes you kind and caring, then maybe the "lie" is more important.
I seek comment on potential places to live the lie.
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